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Clean Whites – Holy Grail or Epic Fail?

Clean whites.

Now usually we’re the kind of people that notice all of our flaws but honestly we never really thought about how white our teeth were before. You often hear of people spending a small fortune to get that photo-shopped looking gum bling. So, when someone suggested we, mere mortals could do it from the comfort of our own home, we’re not going to lie, we were dubious.

Especially since given the current state of the internet and paid for ads, you can never be too sure what it is exactly you’re buying or how useful it will be. But fear not some perfectly whitened smile will tell you ALL about how wonderful this new must-have product is, and how they couldn’t POSSIBLY live without it! Hmmm… And then it turns up and what you’ve actually got is the “Bargain-basement” own brand line product with all instructions in a foreign language.
Because of this, we thought we’d give a 100% honest, unpaid-for review of Clean Whites; an at home teeth whitening kit.

So, when you get the clean white kit, the first thing you notice is the sheer size of the case, honestly, we were wondering what the hell we’d signed up for given the fact that we had to be inserting this huge thing into our mouths 30-45 minutes a day… (Phrasing…) When we open the package to see syringes our suspicious weren’t calmed.

However, on further inspection it’s not actually the saw type device we feared. You start off having to mould the gum shield to your mouth, now we’ve never been good at these so I think we left it in the water too long and then proceeded to give ourselves blisters biting down on this molten bit of plastic. They were hard to get right and took a few goes to get the desired fit, though pushing our pride aside we are willing to believe it was user error and if you’re well versed in gum shield usage this will be laughably simple! When you’ve achieved the dream fit you use the syringes to administer blobs of the clear gel stuff onto the imprints of your teeth in the gum shield. Sounds easy enough right?

However, the line “Less is more” in the pamphlet had us in a bit of a spin… So you want us to what? Just suggest the serum to the gum shield??? The amount of serum has been a bit of trial and error and we think we hit the sweet spot at “A bit” being just a short push on the end of the syringe-y thing.
Sizing up our teeth colour on the shame guide, also referred to as the teeth colour guide, we admitted we could probably have taken better care of our teeth, which according to the scale ring in around shade 8. Of 15. Yikes…
We then place the newly serum-ed up gum shields into our mouth and popped the light in. Now like any adult’s we naturally played with the light a bit, shinning it into one anothers eyes, pretending to be blue aliens and generally being stupid. Which, looking back, probably didn’t help the process at all. However we did get to have a strange blue glowy smile for the next 10-15 minutes. The instructions included told us to leave the gum shields in for 20 minutes after the light stage and then not to eat or drink for the following 30. So all up the process takes about an hour.

Our honest review?
It’s great.

The first time we had our mouth full of gum shield and light we felt pretty damn stupid but it proved to be worth it because even after the first light up the difference was huge. No wonder this thing promises a 5 shade difference in 2 weeks! This has meant however, we’ve been doing it every night before bed because the results are just so damn obvious! Going from an 8 to a bright 4 was an amazing feeling, our want to show it off like it was some fancy report card wasn’t well received by friends and family, who alas were still heading toward the double digit end of the colour guide. When people compliment us about our teeth we can’t help be feel some undeserved pride, like “Yes peasant our teeth have always been this way, bow before these superior beings.”

Not being able to eat or drink for 30 minutes after plus the 30 you have the thing in for is a bit annoying and honestly the most difficult bit for us, but we’ve found doing it before bed is the best time to lessen this inconvenience. We know other people who have tried it have struggled with the timing factor and feeling like a dork or finding it hard to keep the light-y up-py device in the mouth for the 10 minutes. Our best advise for this would be to use your lips to kinda pull the light toward your teeth while you use it? Does that make sense? But because of this awkwardness it really has to be something you can commit to and want to stick it out to find the right “Less is more” amount for your teeth, but trust us when we say that it’s very much worth it. With its slick packaging and speedy results, we’d defiantly buy again. 8/10

If you’re interested in trying this for yourself, we have a few kits to give away – simply email us comps@theempire.nz with the subject line ” Clean whites” and we’l pick first time winners at random * must be in NZ and over 18

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Gaming & Technology Editor at The Empire Digital Media Ltd.
Gadget fiend, maker of beer, technology enthusiast, and Dad of three, Dave enjoys trying to protect expensive gadgets from the destructive power of tiny people, and frequently fails.

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