THE EMPIRE
You’re in an old farmhouse. You’re not sure what’s happening, but it doesn’t feel right. Looking at the Beretta M9 in your hand, you think to yourself: “I’m going to need something a little bigger”. Your vision pans across the room, hoping for something to alleviate the ‘fight or flight’ you’re feeling inside. Old wallpaper. A brick wall. A mantle. And there it is:
A double barrel shotgun.
You laugh a little wondering how you got so lucky. You cock the barrel open. It’s empty. “Sure” you think. Except it isn’t you. It’s protagonist Bryan, played by Austin Abrams, in the latest Resident Evil feature from Zach Cregger of ‘Barbarian’ and ‘Weapons’ fame (or Whitest Kids U’Know fame if you’re that deep on the internet/old).
2026’s Resident Evil doesn’t give a shit about the previous films. Those were indeed…films. Cregger set out to do one thing, and one thing only. Make a Resident Evil film. “What the fuck does that mean??” you may ask. Look. The W.S Anderson and Jovovich films were fun. And I’ll always love Jovovich for The Fifth Element. But were they Resident Evil? They started that way until they weren’t. And that’s fine! That’s what you do with stories happening outside of canon. But when it gets so far gone that you’ve got cloney-baloneys running around. You have to stop like the Michael Jordan meme.
And we don’t believe the 2021 reboot exists.
So with shackles unchained and given full rein, what does Cregger do? Why he tells a story about someone else. Which is brilliant! We know what the STARS team experienced at Spencer Mansion. The Raccoon City incident? We were at ground zero. Rescuing the President’s daughter in Spain? FORGEDABOUTIT. Cregger, and fellow writer Shay Hatten, make the wisest choice: What if it was about someone else during these events?
And that someone is the aforementioned Bryan. He’s fighting with his middy about something. The hospital he just completed a delivery too won’t sign for it. And he’s hoping to clock off to get things under control. Until he’s offered a double-the-pay organ run to a city in the mountains during Winter. A city called Raccoon City. With their choice made, it’s all about Cregger showing how this unravels within the expectations of an audience who know the outcome. Or do we? Yes, Raccoon City will fall to a zombie outbreak. But how? Why? Or will it?
Expertly delivering on the bottleneck speed of a night in the shoes of a Resident Evil protagonist, it’s references galore until the end. Inventory check. Upgrading weapons. Tight quarters to navigate and sounds coming from both everywhere and nowhere. Cross this over with Cregger’s brilliant ability to make running look scary in every capacity, then this is your most evil residence yet. Pair this with as many laughs to the scares, then it’s no wonder that the likes of Leon S. Kennedy exist in this world.
Because when it’s all a bit scary, why not be a bit silly.
Zach Cregger really said "let me make this the most spooky and funny 90 minutes of your life" and didn't even break a sweat. I now see why "No sweat" was one of the film's taglines.SPOOKY HAPPY FUN TIME
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